nutritional drinks : pros and cons ? Real food VS nutritinal drinks ?

Me either i really do not know if I will go beyond my pre-ED weight.
I started anorexia late, I was 20.
My BMI was then at 17.5/18 and has alsways been so.
was thin and extremely athletic and eating was the last this I would think of, didn't even know what a calorie was, would indulge on the last piece of pie even if not hungry just for the pleasure and guilt, and even said after i saw a 30sec topic on anorectic girls during TV news: "me not eating ? Impossible, love food too much !"

My mother is a tiny chinese and my father not very tall -french. Both of them are very slim

So i am asking myself if i will go back to pre-ed weight or go way over........

You will probably go over a bmi of 17-18 as it's quite low, but it may also be possible that it's your set point. Either way you will not get big because it's simply not in your genes. You will always be slim because you were slim when you were not restricting.

thanks its reassuring !!

Have a lovely week end and stay as you are: nice to me !!

Thank you sweetie Enjoy your weekend as well!

How was your weekend? Did you manage to reach your goal?

Hello You,

My week-end was nice, thanks. What about yours?

the weather in suburb was so nice, sunny, almost 21°C.
Saturday was rest day: i,e. bed, TV, eating, TV, bed ...
Saturday afternoon was tea at sisters appartment but the weather was so beautif that we when to the park with the nephew.

1800 cal target reached Friday, satureday and sunday and planned for the whole week and meal plan will be reviewed for friday for next step forwards...1900 cal?
1400 is the highest I ever reached since my last hospitalisation as inpatient and have to go back to 1998 (from 30 dec 1997 to 28 april 1998 ...3 month during which I gained 12 kilos ... went from 33.8 to 45.7 kilos). Buring my hospitalisation my intakes have never been controlled...as long as i gained weight medical supervisors would leave me in peace. But my main preoccupation was not to recover but to get out of there.

I weighted myself this morning (still have to check as my weight is lower than the one I have when I have been admitted)
Since I have started recovery/refeeding process (the 2 feb) I gained 2.8 kilos....
Some would say: "not much"
I would say: "argh...3 kilos!"

I have to confess that it has been a bit disturbing for a few hours....well until I realised that I could reach the trolley station a little bit easier or less challenging (?).
To reach the station I have a a steep hill to walk, not long maybe +/- 60m...but once I was up legs were painful same for stairs in the tube.

But this morning i discovered that I went up-hill and up and down the stairs easier.
and i was terrific to feel this
this progres made me think about my weight gain concern.

More weight = more abilities to do things
(even if more weight = panick attack...I am still controlled by ED thoughts. Not yet able to think by myself)

During the week end I continued reading articles about why it is worth recovering and why I should not feel so much concern.

Quotes that made me think over the week-end: (what do you think about it ????)
(NO PAIN NO GAIN!!!)

- physical effects of being underweight are more familiar than the physical effects of increasing that food and the physical/mental stress that causes

- what does it mean to be 'satisfied', to 'play it safe', to be physically 'used to' a particular state (emaciated)

- does my fear of change outweigh my frustration with staying the same, or not? Even if it does today, and tomorrow, it may not always

- Just 'living with it' is a sad way to watch life slip past .... Really living may cost that short period of physical upheaval, but that is negligible in comparison with what it makes possible

- binge-eating rarely happens without restriction, and that if eating a lot is required to become healthy again, and if it isn't mentally evaluated as something that should be stopped but can't be, it isn't binge-eating, it's just eating.

- We don't have as much choice as we might like to think about our body shape and weight, which is significantly genetically determined, and for the recovering anorexic it is more important than for anyone else to find and accept not the weight which one's eating disorder dictates as desirable, but the weight at which one's own particular body can thrive

- The first weeks are the very hardest, and if you persevere and don't succumb to those worries , which all amount to not wanting to let your body get fully better - it will all get much easier, easier than you can at present imagine
&
these and any other difficulties you may currently be experiencing will come to an end as recovery proceeds and a healthy weight is reached and maintained

- The extra 250 calories are enough to initiate the processes of cellular rehydration but not to drive sustained weight gain in the medium term

- It's very easy to lose motivation if 1) you're hardly eating any more than before, but see your body weight increasing rapidly, and then 2) you see the weight gain level off while still dealing with all the traumatic feelings associated with eating more, or even 3) the 0.5 pound a week increase does continue, and it takes you years to get back to a healthy weight.
1 pound, or 0.5 kg, a week is a much more reasonable rate of increase, for all the reasons above. If you are determined to recover in earnest, you need to make your goals both more ambitious and more realistic; adding at least another 250 kcal per day is the way to do both

- bodyfat takes time to redistribute after weight gain; in particular, it seems to take around a year for the initial disproportionate deposits of fat round the midsection to even out

- Extreme hunger is your body's way of signalling that it requires a significant nutritional surplus beyond the intake that would maintain a stable weight, to carry out all the restoration of fat reserves and repair of organs etc. that are necessary to becoming healthy again

- continuing on the path of weight gain is the only way to achieve a body that looks and feels good.

- No one wants to 'gain too much weight', but it does seem to be a relatively common thing in the short term, followed by a gradual return to pre-illness levels in most cases

- In general, weight maintenance shouldn't require a reduction in daily intake from what was being consumed during the weight-gain phase

- the greatest danger you face is probably not continuing to gain weight, but relapsing into weight loss again. The best way of ensuring that food doesn't keep controlling your life is therefore probably to keep eating as you are doing until the weight gain naturally slows and stops

Bad body image: while walking a bit after lunch, i saw myself in huges baie windowns and feel so ugly and skinny

You should be so proud that you have reached your goals  I know it's scary since it's been ages since you have eaten this much, but keep fighting because you need to do these changes. Because, let's face it, what you did in the past didn't exactly work out well for you. So no matter how scary this new thing is, it can't be scarier than going back to living the way you did, am I right?

Don't focus too much on the numbers. Focus more on the positive experiences - like going faster up that hill  That's awesome to hear about and I'm so happy for you  And if the panic attacks, then know that every time you try to fight that feeling by doing the opposite of what it's telling you, it gets weaker. 

Over to the quotes:

1. physical effects of being underweight are more familiar than the physical effects of increasing that food and the physical/mental stress that causes

That's true, so increase at a safe pace, which you are. But even though the effects of increasing can be tough on the body, they will ultimately make everything in the body better.


2. what does it mean to be 'satisfied', to 'play it safe', to be physically 'used to' a particular state (emaciated)
Not quite sure what you mean, but it's definitely possible to get used to living on too little food. It's a survival mechanism that your body to to not die. It turns off many important, but not immediate crucial processes to make you survive short term.

3. does my fear of change outweigh my frustration with staying the same, or not? Even if it does today, and tomorrow, it may not always
For me, I came to a point where there was no doubt what was the most scary: staying the same. If you think something else one day, then it's a lie your ED is telling you. The ED is like a parasite. It wants to live, so it feeds on YOU. Don't let it. 

4. Just 'living with it' is a sad way to watch life slip past .... Really living may cost that short period of physical upheaval, but that is negligible in comparison with what it makes possible.
So true  Convince yourself of this EVERY DAY. Write it on your refrigerator, in front of the toilet, on the mirror so you see it all the time

5. binge-eating rarely happens without restriction, and that if eating a lot is required to become healthy again, and if it isn't mentally evaluated as something that should be stopped but can't be, it isn't binge-eating, it's just eating.
EXACTLY! You just hit the center of the dart board   

6. We don't have as much choice as we might like to think about our body shape and weight, which is significantly genetically determined, and for the recovering anorexic it is more important than for anyone else to find and accept not the weight which one's eating disorder dictates as desirable, but the weight at which one's own particular body can thrive
This is so true and it gives me the chills  It's about realizing that our bodies have ONE purpose only: to keep us healty and alive! It's made for that purpose and we need to let it do that job. The only thing we can do is doing what it tells us. Your body is the boss - not your head

7. The first weeks are the very hardest, and if you persevere and don't succumb to those worries , which all amount to not wanting to let your body get fully better - it will all get much easier, easier than you can at present imagine&these and any other difficulties you may currently be experiencing will come to an end as recovery proceeds and a healthy weight is reached and maintained
Yes - hang in there! It will get better if you keep going in the right direction.

8. The extra 250 calories are enough to initiate the processes of cellular rehydration but not to drive sustained weight gain in the medium term
Not sure what 250 kcals you are talking about, but if you mean increasing with 250 kcal, it may be true that the first thing the body does is to rehydrate the cells. This makes sense to me as water retention is a pretty common symptoms for many during the first period of recovery.

9. It's very easy to lose motivation if 1) you're hardly eating any more than before, but see your body weight increasing rapidly, and then 2) you see the weight gain level off while still dealing with all the traumatic feelings associated with eating more, or even 3) the 0.5 pound a week increase does continue, and it takes you years to get back to a healthy weight.
1 pound, or 0.5 kg, a week is a much more reasonable rate of increase, for all the reasons above. If you are determined to recover in earnest, you need to make your goals both more ambitious and more realistic; adding at least another 250 kcal per day is the way to do both 
I agree. When someone is not in risk of getting refeeding syndrome anymore, then a more ambitious increase is better. Weight increase is mentally painful, but it's going to less painful in total if the gaining happens over a shorter period of time. It's better to rip the band-aid off in one quick move than ripping it off slowly. 

10. bodyfat takes time to redistribute after weight gain; in particular, it seems to take around a year for the initial disproportionate deposits of fat round the midsection to even out 
This is true. But it's mostly just noticeable to the person having the uneven distribution- Everyone else really doesn't care about how you look and it's really not that noticeable.

11. Extreme hunger is your body's way of signalling that it requires a significant nutritional surplus beyond the intake that would maintain a stable weight, to carry out all the restoration of fat reserves and repair of organs etc. that are necessary to becoming healthy again
This is true - your body is still the boss. If the body demands extra work force, then the body should have it.

12. continuing on the path of weight gain is the only way to achieve a body that looks and feels good.
Simply true

13. No one wants to 'gain too much weight', but it does seem to be a relatively common thing in the short term, followed by a gradual return to pre-illness levels in most cases 
Over-shooting happens. But we are not talking huge amounts of extra kilos. It may be 1 kg to 10 kg extra - which is really not noticeable to anyone else, and maybe not yourself either.

14. In general, weight maintenance shouldn't require a reduction in daily intake from what was being consumed during the weight-gain phase 
True. Although we are not exactly similar. Somne may eat a BIT less after recovery, some a BIT more. This is why we should start eating to hunger cues after all the signs of starvation are gone. Then the body will adjust itself to the level suitable for YOUR body. At this stage it's important to listen to your body and don't use this as an excuse to restrict.

15. the greatest danger you face is probably not continuing to gain weight, but relapsing into weight loss again. The best way of ensuring that food doesn't keep controlling your life is therefore probably to keep eating as you are doing until the weight gain naturally slows and stops

I would remove the word "probably" in the first sentence because it truly is more dangerous. The rest is good  When the gaining has slowed down/stopped, eating by hunger cues would be the best thing to do.


Phew....you know how to make loooong posts

I'm glad your are starting to notice that being underweight is not especially flattering. But know this - you are not ugly, but sick! Now, focus on what will make you better from this illness

have to make you work !!
As we are the only two to chat here !!

Focus on me beeing better, on me beeing recovered ....everyday motto when have silly chats with ED before, during and after every meal

To be honnest: I skipped 4pm snack....i feel so bad (since this morning...force myself for the fist 3 meals and still 2 to go...think will do 5/6 meals with a little bit of challenge...)

What were and are your personnal thoughts now that you are almost fully recovered ?

today, i feel thight in my jeans even if there is a LOT of room left

Yeah, there's not much activity here... Don't beat yourself up for making mistakes. Rise again and know you can do better. Tomorrow you will eat your 4pm snack

I'm not fully recovered yet. My weight is stable but I still have thoughts in my head. They are not very strong but they can be triggered by other people and situations. But I'm making progress. I need to focus on how much work I have already done, not how much that is left. I'm can clearly imagine a life without anorexia now and I'm nit gonna stop until I get there. Because i deserve it, and so do you

If your clothes are triggering you, throw them away! By some really flexible jegging (leggings that looks like jeans)

By the way, there is a closed Facebook group for people in recovery using the MM method. There's more about it here:
http://letsrecover.tumblr.com/post/84927661790/do-you-guys-have-a-facebook-group
I'm already a member, so please consider joining

Hi,

feeling much better today...body and appetite.
Yesterday was just a bad day further to calories raise.

Jeans feel better ...it was just me swelling everywhere....and it happens each time I increase intake.

I understand your " thoughts triggered by other people and situations"

Once someone told me "you look better", "face is fuller"....the first thing that came over my mind was "have i put on so much weight ?"
it was so disturbing, i was very week, underfeed....very ED oriented thoughts....I relapsed.

Now I just close my ears and try hard not to pay attention to any comment (negative or positive)

You have done so much good work, I think that recovering from anorexia is the hardest thing ever in our life, that it would be a shame to relapse.
Not beeing triggered my comment is one of your x recovery phase.

don't you dare give up...you are to smart to give give credit to any comments on you and no one is allowed to judge you ...they have no idea what your have lived, done and who you are!

thanks for the Facebook link !

Yes, I've done too much to relapse now Whenever I got such comments I would tell people to stop saying it. I mean it's positive that they saw a positive change, but that doesn't mean I wasn't still underweight. People need to realize that we need to recover without having outside perception change the way we do it.

the thing is that you CAN NOT expect that others watch out for potential triggering language
sometimes thay just say things that are insignificant for them but misinterpreted by us
something that seems nice for them can seem harmful for them.....
We just have to do with is without beeing harsh on them
we just have to learn not to give credit to things they say
they just do not know what we have been through, we can not expect them to know what they can or must not say


Have you ever came across articles about recovery in elderlies (people in the 40's as me)
I was asking myself regarding calories as MM says minimum should be for me around 2300
i am 40, 160cm, menopaused, was pre ED BMI was around 17.5-18

I don't understand why I was so afraid to eat as much as i do now....because after all I am not gaining as much weight I thought i would....

By the way I hae just read this:
http://www.scienceofeds.org/2014/05/07/hypermetabolism-in-anorexia-nervosa/

Yes, I agree that we just will have to live with it  But I actually told people, in a friendly way, that comments about my body (either positive or negative) was not something I did not want. An it was not because I didn't see the kindness in those comments but my mind twisted them to something else. And they actually accepted that  So being open about how you feel may actually be helpful  

I have not read any articles, but I believe that you should not go below 2000 in any case. I mean, if your minimum is lower than for younger people, it won't change anything if you eat more. The only thing that will happen is that you repair the damage, regain the weight and get back your life faster. And when all the starvation symptoms are gone, then you will start eating by hunger cues and your body will stabilize at the weight you're supposed to have. Maybe that will lead you to a bit less since you're older, but that's OK  Your pre ED weight can tell you that you probably will end up as quite slim after recovery, but I doubt that 17.5-18 is your set point now since you are older now. Everyone gain a little bit when the get older. But if you were comfortable and eating well and not exercising a lot at BMI 17.5-18, then your set point will not be very much different from that. 

By the way, why do say your minimum is 2300? Your Eatopia says 2500+. But anyways, as long as you eat enough, because it's not possible to eat too much. It's more risky to go below what your body needs than above

can't remember where but it was on Eatopia...but whatever it is not the time to get confused about foolish figures

Nope, it really doesn't matter  The guidelines are guidelines, not rules! But if you feel hungry for more, then eat more

Hi,

Did not give any news yestayday as I had my annual appointment with occupational health doctor.
Have been cleared up and can continue to work.
I haven' t nor the doctor considered the ED question.
The doc just said that I should just improve weight

In the afternoon, I went to my parents close friend funerals (died of cancer...55 years old) to represent family (as no one wanted to take 1/2 day off from work)
It is sad...my parents friends are all dying one after the other from cancer.....and they are younger than my parents....ot makes them anxious...."cancer generation"


I have been thinking about something overnight:
do you think anorexia is a chronic illness?
Do we truly recover from? Isn't it more a commonly-recuring condition, that we we have for ever remain in alert just in case it jumps out the bushes at any time? that we can fall prey to it?
Is it possible to fully recover ? Or is it more like just a remission and that we will have for all our life be wary of signs of relaps?

I did not have the extreme hunger thing again...It just lasted a week-end, 3 weeks ago when I jumped from 1300 to 1600 cal.
Since then nothing...more a not hungry state than a hungry state, not hungry and full to the extend to consider making a pause at 1800 cal for a week.
At the moment I increase of 100 every friday.

It's on my mind...and i do not know if i must keep going on, whatever i feel (hungry or not) or make a pause....
What would you recommend?
I do know...it might be dangerous as making a pause my hold me back and make me relaps ? Maybe it will allow me to "digest" and go on?

That doctor seems quite bad to me. I don't want him/her to declare you "not fit for work", but not noticing the ED at all makes no sense. Please don't take this as a sign that you're not sick enough, because you know you are. Doctor are very poorly educated on the topic of EDs unfortunately...

I believe anorexia is a chronic illness, but I don't have a negative approach to recovery because of that. I believe it's possible to beat the anorexia until it's only a very very very tiny part of us and not something that we would have to think about in every day life. Seeing it as a chronic disease seems to be the safest option I believe as it's more like saying that we always need to be aware of this part within us and don't let it take over when life gets hard. I don't believe we will have to "battle" every day for the rest of our lives, but I do think we need to be aware of this weakness in ourselves when tough times arrives. I don't believe I have a pessimistic view of the disease, but I'll rather stay alert instead of thinking that I will not relapse, and then end up being wrong. What do you think?

I think you need to push yourself a bit on the food intake. Can you eat more energy dense foods and drinks? I truly believe that the only way to get back a normal hunger is to continue to push until you reach a level that is sustainable in the long run and then make your body get used to that amount. So, I will not recommend a pause. You are not increasing very fast so your body should have enough time to digest the new amount of food anyways. Do you think you can do it?

Fortunately, my doctor referal is aware of my ED.

Oh no, occupational doc comments will not make me think that I am not sick enough....
Mirroirs are all over my flat...in my room closed doors are mirroirs, alley closed doors are mirroirs, in the bathroom Mirror is so huge that it partly comes in the shower (can see me nacked whilst taking my bath... )
I can see how skinny and unhealthy I am ! Yuck !

Here it is quite difficult to find a Doc that is ED educated...it is not a medical speciality (is it in your country?)
In France everything is psycho oriented ... "you are anorectic because you have a problem with your mother" ...this what all psycho state in France.
They pay more attention to the soul that to the body and do not have recovery method such as Maudsley, MM, mando or other....

I am quite shared about whether it will remain a "for ever latent condition" or "full recovery is possible"
I would like to say that it is/would be possible to one day state "anorexia ? Have I been anorectic ? Do not remember ? Have I ? Really ?"
If only I could be amnesic for this part of my life
Maybe we have to convince ourself that it is possible to put it behind us and never think about it again.

Right, will therefore not pause and make more room for food.
At the moment my calories are splitted this way
1200 cal "real foos" and 600 cal "caloric drinks"

I have ordered more caloric puddings and drinks, have to go and get them this evening.

I will have to increase "real food" vs "calorie drinks" ....I can not rely on just those drinks and increase my intakes just by having them.

This week has been:
45g breakfast cereals
45g uncooked rice or pasta or 180g uncooked potatoes + 1 teaspoon evvo with each meal

friday i will do 50 of each.

Oh by the way, i managed for the first time to have for breakfast "chocolate puffed rice". It would never cross my mind to have them a few week ago...it would have been unconceivable ! I would have challenged me to have them neither.
I realised it tasted good.
It is not that I fear eating chocolate, it is just that i do not like chocolate...prefer almonds, dried fruits....

A girl at the office is on maternity leave today and distributed mini sized butter danishes ("croissants" and "pain au chocolat")
instinctively i almost said "no thanks" but catch up myself and said "how nice, tankns" and she handed me 2 croissants that i mechanically took
Haven't ate them yet they are in my drawer...I do not even know if I will eat them....not that I fear it (still just a bit) but prefer having almonds or gingerbread.....
Do not know what to think or maybe I am thinking too much....
Anyway I will take them home and see...for breakfast this week end....maybe....

Have you been re-eating by following a meal plan ?

It's hard to find doctor with knowledge on the topic here as well. I've necer heard about MM before I found youreatopia. It's sad, and I hope the good knowledge apreads to the rest of the society soon.

I'm not scared about saying this is a chronic disease because I really do believe it's possible to reach remission and stay there for the rest of our lives. But I rather think of it as chronic and then find out later that the disease really is completely dead, than the opposite (thinking I can never get sick again and then be surprised when I did). Anyways, I think this is something we really can get past and "forget" but I would rather be safe than sorry, if you get me.

I think your way of increasing seems very thought through About the nutritional drinks (which is really the topic of this post, haha ) I'm thinking that it's good that you want to rely more on real food, but right now I think the ratio of 1200 to 600 is quite ok And it's awesome that you challenged yourself by eating choco puffs! Completely utterly awesome And the fact that you didn't turn down those croissants is also pretty darn nice You should really be proud of yourself! Niw the next atep is to try and eat them, which I believe you will because you are such a strong woman What's the worst thing that can happen if you do?

I didn't follow a meal plan, but counted the calories. I would really not recommend that to anyone, but since I was already counting as a result of my disease, it really didn't make things any worse. It was like using the disease related counting to crush the disease

I also gave accros MM by googling, and never heard about it before.

In France, ED is a consequence of a Psycho issue, treatment starts directly by analysing your state of mind, which i consider as nonsens.
I am conviced, just as the Minnesota Starvation Experiment states, that the ED is a consequence of loosing weight.
This is exactly how everything started with me...Never had a psycho problem (by the way I did not take any anti-depressants.
This is probably why IP treatments always failed.
Not only IP doc tried to convice me that I had an issue with my mother as a consequence of my ED but they set me the very first day a weight target. Once this target hit, i would be released.

I think that whilst beeing IP, efforts should be shift on starting the treatment by restauring weight, then, and only then start the psycho work .... can think strait as long as you are underweight.

I am just understanging all this now that I am putting all my efforts to recover.
But this time by myself....I am done with doctors and psychatrics....

Think i was afraid of gaining weight, because Anorexia was my personality ...who am I or will be once i will have a decent weight.
But I have just read a § on it: "One's true charactere remains hidden when the body is starved, to be rediscovered by starting to eat again."
" starve state makes you unable to think flexibly enough to fully comprehend the possibility of eating or living differently or even the possibility of wanting to think about and enjoy things other than food "

Weighted myself this morning: +600 g this week with 1800 cal.
Today target is 1900 cal and not making an increase pause.

More choco puff this morning....

Once a week I make a meal plan with my calorie target. In a way it allows me not to thing about food, what i have to cook or what I am going to eat for lunch or diner....everything is already scheduled and i just have to follow it.
As you did I use my caloriy counting ability () to "crush the disease"!

At a moment or an other I will have to make a real food increase instead of increasing the nutritional drinks.
when i increase the "real food" i add carbs (such as a bit more pasta/rice/breakfast cereals, dried fruits or amlonds) instead of just adding extra veggies or fruits (only a bit but not mainly).

but phew...50g uncooked rice/pasta makes so much in my plate (my maximum...)...so when I see some girls having 100g uncooked, and that it practically overflows on the plate....

I completely agree with you on the psycho-thing. For some people, a mental problem could be the ONSET for an ED, but it never the reason it turns into a full blown illness. So yes, refeeding first, and then work on the deep mental issues. 

Congratulations with the weight gain  Great achievement! I think not taking a break in wise, and I'm glad you keep  pushing yourself  You're not that far away from the minimum now so if you just push a little bit more now and you will be at a good intake

And it's awesome that your eating choco puffs Why shouldn't you?

I think you're doing an amazing job balancing the counting and meal plan  You do a lot better job than I did as I counted everything and that really made me crazy   Making meal plans is much more clever

But pasta is so good, so why not overflow the plate? But maybe it will be easier to increase if you add more different foods? I know we've talked about your intolerances before, but there has to be SOMETHING more you can eat besides pasta and potatoes? Have you tried sweet potatoes (also called yams)? Or maybe rice with some different spices and oils? Creamy vegetable soup? You need  to figure out this by yourself of course  Anyways, I think you're doing really well and jsut keep going no matter what you end up choosing to eat  Have you tried those croissants yet?

The croissant ? not yet

but I will definitly have them over the week-end....I promise you ! for snack instead of gingerbread
and will tell you if or or or

I alternatively have potatoes or sweet potatoes (depends if i find some)
Rice is my main staple (as mother is chinese we got used to have them 2x/days/365 almost)
Have a box full of spices...like cinnamon and Ginger, wasabi, basil/marjolan, safron
yesterday i cooked 4 portions of rice with tumeric/onions and raisins (and when I have some i put over it coconut cream !)
as for oils, i like to have different types: for the moment I have: coconut oil, avocado oil, olive oïl, walnut oïl, rapeseed oïl, linseed oïl and argan oïl and even ghee (indian clarified butter)...all open !

for breakfast I sometimes dip bread in olive oïl/salt, instead of the bread-butter-jam
I also have PB, amond spread, honey, jam & (yep) a jar of chocolate spread !

Tried to reconsider my vegan tendencies my buying real surimi and real ham.
Well, I did not enjoy them....

i try not to make my food seem boring, as I usually eat the same thing the whole week, i put different spices

Do you cook everyday ? do you have a favourite meal ?

I realised that I do not have a favourite meal...i do not know what food really like...so i have a try whether i like or not....
PB-->like
chocolate-->so-so...not crazy about it
nanas--> I disliked them or I thought i disliked them but in fact i like them
raisin--> dont like them in my muesli but like them as snack