What is the most bizzare/funny/weird thing your eating disorder has made you think/do?

I'll start with myself

- Was scared to have the bottle of oil next to my safe foods in the fridge, because I feared some oil particles would somehow fly into my safe food and add dangerous calories.

- I sent an email to Coop (a chain store and food producer) where I asked them why their raspberries were labelled with 20 more calories than raspberries at other stores. My mum bought me these raspberries, and I had a big dilemma; to eat, or not to eat? Obviously, raspberries dont magically change calorie content. I got this confirmed by Coop.

- I once started CRYING because the tomato I had carefully planned to eat for dinner had disappeared without a trace. I was so angry I bitch slapped the fridge.

I once freaked out about a piece of butter my mom put in a tomato sauce and we didn't talk for three days  

I can only eat with one specific spoon, actually i forced my mom to buy 10 of them, just in case someone Else is going to use one

i used to freeze in my food, like yoghurt, curd, fruits...now i don´t even know why i actually did this

i throbbed crisp breads down on tables, so that "extra crumbles" flew away from it...how silly!

I blazed through episodes of MasterChef and The Great British Bake Off, then started making clay food jewelry. (which is actually really freaking cute) because literally all I could think about was food.

Oh there are just too many!

-I feared water, because I thought "who actually decided how many calories something has? Maybe everyone is just trying to trick me abd water actually does have calories"

-I was scared to shower, because I thought my skin would just soak with water and I'd retain it

-I wouldn't eat after 5pm because I thought my metabolism dies after that time

-I was scared to eat an apple uncut because I thought it is too hard and will break my teeth (still fear it now). Yet I was perfectly fine eating rolls as hard as stone

-I couldn't go to the dentist because I was scared some of their cleaning stuff would float right to my stomach and would poison me

-I could only eat from my own plates and bowls

-if I mess up, I can only restart on a monday

And too many more. Cracks me up how stupid all of it was now that I think about it

I was scared to kiss my boyfriend or even hug people because I was scared that somehow calories would be passed over to me
I wouldn't let people make me drinks (even water) because I was convinced they'd put something in it to make me gain weight
Honestly looking back it's so ridiculous and I can't believe ED made me believe those things!

I was ritually afraid of water,juice,soda, any liquid bc I was afraid of water weight and thought my body would save it and make me fatter.

I weighed everything I ate. Including salad, cucumber and black coffee (I mean what is that about…)
At some point I genuinely thought that raspberry flavored instant oatmeal tasted like cake!!
I actually cuddled a baby that had recently had a stomach flu to intentionally get one too to loose weight and not being able to eat.
I once bought regular fizzy drink instead of the light version. I cried and seriously planned to give angry feedback to the company about making their products too similar to the eye.

Omg

- i argued with my frist boyfriend cause he was eating my light pudding
- i don´t wanted to use body creme cause of anxiety the skin would soak the fat
- freezing yoghurts and snacks
- weighing most of my foods
...and some more crazy things

- Walking the same route whenever I leave my apartment. I don't know why, but I can't seem to change it.
- Weighing everything, even lettuce and cucumber.
- Couldn't use skin mosturizer because I was afraid that my body would absorb the fats.
- Same thing with toothpaste really (but I did use that, though).
- I developed a fear of sitting, which kind of sucks when you're a fiction writer like me.

I was definitely paranoid about someone secretly putting things into my food. I wanted to make everything myself. Eating out was always hard. More than calories, I was afraid there would be an ingredient I'm allergic/intolerant to or an animal product. This is still a struggle.

I was also paranoid that someone had rigged the scale so that it read a lower number than what I really weighed. This is still a nagging thought sometimes.

Yelling at my boyfriend when he took half a slice of cucumber from my plate. Or having a tantrum if my food exploded in the microwave, wasting one tablespoon of food. Thinking "what the f***?! Why is the world taking the anorexics food away??"

It scares me how I can relate to many of these!

tinyoptimist wrote:
I was also paranoid that someone had rigged the scale so that it read a lower number than what I really weighed. This is still a nagging thought sometimes.

Haha, same here. I thought the scale at the ED clinic was set to a lower weight for some reason.

- i thought that eating slower would somehow magically reduce the amount of calories in the foods i was eating! Sometimes it took me up to 1 hour to eat dinner OMG!
- i thought that leaving the "crummy" bits of my food would wipe of calories hahaha probably .00000001 of a calorie, so silly! Now i clear my plates!
- i was/am obsessed with watching people eat

@desserttolive omg same here! I used to cook meals for my family and then watch them eating

- I loved cooking for others and adding lots of oil,butter etc. I just ENJOYED seeing them eat a lot of calories
- I didn't talk to my friends for a year because I thought that if I meet them they'll make me eat
- I could walk around grocery store for hours just looking at food
- when I ate everything had to pe perfect - the lighting (specific lamps, candles), all dishes had to be clean, table had to be perfectly served ans so on
and now probably the most embarrassing, but if I can make anyone feel better, here you go:
- as you know you also lose a lot if muscles during ed, and at my worst my urinary bladder muscles got so weak I couldn't hold my pee properly so I had to run to toilet all the time, sometimes it caused me a lot of trouble...especially at night

susannsk89 wrote:Yelling at my boyfriend when he took half a slice of cucumber from my plate. Or having a tantrum if my food exploded in the microwave, wasting one tablespoon of food. Thinking "what the f***?! Why is the world taking the anorexics food away??"

Me too! I can't count how many times I broke down in tears because my food got messed up.

lieniite wrote:
and now probably the most embarrassing, but if I can make anyone feel better, here you go:
- as you know you also lose a lot if muscles during ed, and at my worst my urinary bladder muscles got so weak I couldn't hold my pee properly so I had to run to toilet all the time, sometimes it caused me a lot of trouble...especially at night

I can relate. :/ After drinking just a little I always had to hurry to the bathroom . . . but couldn't really hurry because I was too weak to walk fast.

I can relate to so many of these
- I used to bake with a towel tied around my face so I couldn't inhale any 'calories that had evaporated' I also walked out of a biology lesson when we were evaporating glucose solution for the same reason!
- My fridge has also been subject to bitch slapping
- Wouldn't use moisturiser or hair conditioner etc. because moisturised hair/skin would weigh more
- Crossing the road so I could walk on the longer bend and burn about a millionth of a calorie more

there is seriously too many stupid things to name

y ED told me...
- potatoes and bananas taste bad and are bad for me(right...?), so I didn't have them for over a year.
- I can not be hungry after 8pm, my body is just lying because metabolism slows down so much at night that it's impossible to be hungry.
- I also freaked out at restaurants if my salad had unknown dressing on it, and usually refused to eat even though I had already paid.

There would be so much more of these, but most of them have already been said. Crazy ED toughts, right?

lieniite wrote:
- as you know you also lose a lot if muscles during ed, and at my worst my urinary bladder muscles got so weak I couldn't hold my pee properly so I had to run to toilet all the time, sometimes it caused me a lot of trouble...especially at night

I also had this problem, but I always thought that it was due to lack of hormones (as it is a common problem for women in menopause). But it might be a combination?

lieniite wrote:
- I could walk around grocery store for hours just looking at food

I actually used up all our food money on things I craved in the grocery store as well. But never actually eating them. "Oh look! This crispbread has 2 less calories per slice than the one I got at home. I REALLY need to buy them!!!"

I still remember the most awkward purging episode. I had eaten dinner with mum, and decided to purge. The bathroom is just, like, 4 meters away from the livingroom, and she knew I used to purge - so I had to be quiet. The toilet flush was terrible, and I couldn't risk flushing it more than one time (obviously). I ended up purging into a plastic bag and placing that plastic bag between my clothes in a box under the sink. And I forgot about it. For days. One day I suddenly noticed some awful smell in the bathroom, and then I remembered. My mum was home too, so I couldn't just carry it out. I managed to put the bag in the trash and carry the trash out, the problem was that half of my clothes were soaked with vomit - some were even miscoloured!! I threw them into the washing machine and sprayed the room with (expensive) perfume. My mum wondered why I had spent so long in there. Haha.

I was really petrified when someone was cooking with oil/butter while i was preparing my salad 'cause i was sure the oil/butter was going to jump into my veggies somehow .. x)

I was/am always eating with the same spoon for unknown reason

I loved cooking sweet treats for my family but i NEVER actually ate it.. and i used to stare at people when they were eating and i was amazed to see how easily they could eat whatever they were craving.. But i would get really mad if someone dared to look at me while I was eating

I was ALWAYS eating the same thing day after day for the past years.. and i was enjoying it that way

I was always scared that someone dared to touch any of my veggies as i thought it may add extra calories for some reason..

I thought the whole world wanted me to gain, so i was suspicious about everything and everyone.. like it was a huge conspiration against me ahahah omg

I would never eat something that someone else has prepared, even if it was water or if i actually saw them cooking the food..

I HATED eating in front of people, i was convinced they were judging me and my lovely veggies. In fact, i was always eating alone in my bedroom

I used to physically separate my food from the rest of the food in the fridge, just in case the ham would come alive overnight and that it would contaminated my food with extra calories

I was always taking cold shower as i thought it would make my body burn extra calories

Food shopping was literally the best part of my week, i was getting ridiculously excited

I would have kill if someone had try to steal a piece of my carrots

I was mesuring, counting and weighing EVRYTHING. I would cried the whole night and exercised for an hour if i ate 10 extra calories one day

I was afraid of hot bath as i thought the water would soak into my skin

I was convinced it wasnt true that green tea has no cal

I was convinced that the scale was broken if i lose, but if i had gain then it must be right.

lieniite wrote:- I loved cooking for others and adding lots of oil,butter etc. I just ENJOYED seeing them eat a lot of calories

Oh my god I can relate to this so much!!!! I literally pile on the fats in cooking I do for other people because although I KNOW inside that one meal won't make them gain weight, my silly brain wants them to all get fat and me stay thin :/ what are we like?!?!

- I wouldn't kiss my boyfriend in case he got his calories in my mouth
- I'd have to prepare everything myself even drinks and water in case someone snuck in some calorific items
- I would fear brushing my teeth every day in case I got fat off toothpaste
- I weighed everything including lettuce and cucumber
- I wasn't allowed to eat unless I'd done x amount of excercise
- I once went on holiday and took all my own food for the week in glass jars which meant I had to take an extra bag
- I became obsessed with food, cooking for other people and watching cooking shows etc

Omg I can relate so many of these