Hey loves. :)

Hey, I'm Christina (or just Stina if you prefer), 20 years old and located in the USA.

I contracted Lyme disease five years ago. It caused me to have severe digestion problems and I lost a lot of weight. It was after I was already underweight and malnourished that I really developed my "eating disorder" starting with a fear of food, creating crazy rituals, and later on a fear of gaining weight and eating too much. It really has been a nightmare, a lot of this time I have basically been sleepwalking, totally disconnected from the world. I was in pseudo-recovery with my ED for about a year after a really scary episode where I nearly died, but I was finally able to get good treatment for my Lyme and other chronic issues, which in turn motivated me to start doing my part to take care of myself, but I didn't really know what that meant until finding the Letsrecover blog in June of this year. I'm happy to say I have gained a LOT of weight, I have some idea of normal eating now, and I'm looking forward to life without this stupid disorder.

I'm an animal lover, artist, and book-nerd. I hope to be able to travel the world soon, write and illustrate children's books, and have a nice little home of my own with all my critters.

You are wonderful, and it makes me so happy to see how far you have come. Keep on going, you'll get there! Your plans and recovery motivations sounds very nice - you can and will do this!

I also find it a bit interesting (ok, that is a horrible word to use in this setting, but you see my point) that you got your eating disorder after getting a physical disease that caused weight loss. I've heard this happening to several. When we are genetically predisposed for getting an eating disorder, energy defict and weight loss is a trigger; no matter if the primary weight loss and energy defict was intentional or not. I was always told that one of the reasons why I had to gain to a bmi above 18.5 was because if I stopped there, I would have had 'little left' if I lost weight for example due to a stomach virus etc., it would very likely be a trigger for my brain.

Thanks Amalie. (:

I agree, it is interesting! I love learning about genetics and the way our brains work, especially with regard to mental illness.

I do feel a little guilty when people learn a little about me, but not the whole story. It's not a true picture when you know of only one thing; I don't know that I ever would have "triggered" an eating disorder without Lyme disease, but I don't think the Lyme disease would have flourished so long and so hard without the eating disorder, and they both give overlapping symptoms so it's hard to know what causes all the symptoms I experience.

I'm worried right now because one of my sisters, who has always been quite small, is sick. We hope it's just a stomach virus, but she's throwing up and not able to eat much and as you said, she doesn't have any extra weight to lose!