everything is hard.

Yeah so, I don't really want to keep going. I don't know HOW to keep going. Everything just seems so hard, so effortful, I just don't see the point of recovering and I don't know how to be motivated to. Everything just sucks aye :/

Yeah but those bad feelings will go away! And I bet it was so much more exhausting and depressing during your worst phase of ED! Aren't you a tiny little bit angry about your eating disorder? Without her, you would't have to endure those hard time! She won't shout at you forever!
Having an ED is hard! It makes you suffer a lot and you lose so much precious time of your life.
Recovery is hard as well but at least there isn't death at the end!!! If you choose recovery you will live! Both paths hurt! But please choose the one with the positiv ending

Well to be honest, i feel more depressed and exhausted when I don't have control! So like when I'm being monitored and stuff. But when i'm on my own, i got power (and sort of exhaustion) but i feel good in the end. I don't know, i just prefer to look at the pros of no-recovery.. Probably something i should fix up

http://letsrecover.tumblr.com/post/85204589675/motivation-vs-determination <3