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How and should I change? More calories? Gaining with not many cals? And moving addiction? How to get out!?

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I just don't know how to start (again) or if I should start becoming better than I already am! So short text before some questions, I was in a Hospital and ed clinic 1 1/2 years ago, and they just helped me with eating again but they sent me home with a BMI of 16. I know that's too low, but now I only think it's ok, healthy for myself because the DOCTOR even said I'm fine! I mantained my weight since then with around 1800-2000 but I thought it's too much Food and now I eat around 1500, and the Problem is I begin to gain with that. It's not about gaining, of course I feel awful because of that. But I mean 1500 calories? When I mantained with more? I am afraid that my metabolism is destroyed, and don't know what to do. I have a doctor and a therapist, both say 1500 is fine, also my weight and health. So WHY changing something you know? And how? I don't know if I should increase to make my metabolism better because I already gain like shit with 1500! What will happen if i Increase just a bit? I'll have a healthy weight with an intake of 1500 or what. And in some years I only can eat like 900 cals to mantain. I'm so scared!
And my parents also dont care, they are happy that I eat and I also eat NOT normal things, I have like 5 Foods I eat every day, never something else! And I always eat so low calorie things, I don't know what I could eat instead or how to want this?
The next Point is, that I have a app which is already installed by my phone, which tracks the steps I do per day and Shows me the calories I burned with that. EVERY day I Need to have the same burned cals! I'm Walking a lot. I can't stop- I'm sure if I'll burn not These amount, I'll gain so I'd rather to skip the not burned cals, if you know what I mean.. :( Sorry for my english btw, I hope its ok.. x

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Hi there!

tbh it sounds like you are still in the depths of your ED. It also sounds like your doctor and therapist are useless.

My advice would be to delete that app on your phone, and start eating more, preferably minimum 3000+ kcal a day. Also start eating a broader variety of foods, as it is very unhealthy to have so little variation in your diet. Also rest.
I know that this will seem hard and that you might even think I'm crazy for asking this of you. However, please give it a try. And please believe when I say that it is so worth it.

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Oh please please please don't EVER see that doctor again! It's complete BULLSHIT that 1500 kcal and bmi of 16 is healthy. In Norway, where I live, people get sent to hospital at bmi 16! I'M GETTING SO ANGRY AT YOUR BEHALF! You also seem to think that this is not a way to live your life, or you wouldn't have posted this. You KNOW what is the right thing to do. Increase to 3000+ after increasing to 2000 over 4-5 days. This will not make you fat, but it will definitely repair your metabolism. Please read the FAQ section on letsrecover.tumblr.com to get more info on what to do.

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